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~~Occasional words of wisdom and other things~~

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01 marzo

Sunday Funnies

Been forever since I posted something on here, decided it was time for an update

Sunday Funnies

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION,BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'







16.05 | Aggiungi un commento | Leggi commenti - (3) | Collegamento permanente | Pubblica su blog
24 aprile

this and that

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH

 

 

 

 

ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

 

 

When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!

7.04 | Aggiungi un commento | Leggi commenti - (2) | Collegamento permanente | Pubblica su blog
28 dicembre

Sunday Funnies

Been very busy.  Will keep adding to this entry until someone comments.  Have a nice day.

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
Time for the newest edition of the

 

 

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."
The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools."
One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age."
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he obliged.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess?"
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three old ladies happily yelled in unison-- "We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

 

FOUR CATHOLIC MOTHERS were having coffee together and discussing how wonderful their children are.

The first mother tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her a subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a handsome, 6' 3", hard-bodied, Chippendale's stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women say, 'Oh, my God!'"

 

 

23.20 | Aggiungi un commento | Leggi commenti - (2) | Collegamento permanente | Pubblica su blog | Sunday Funnies
14 dicembre

TGIF

Good morning.  Classes are done for the semester, so now I will have time to do something with this space (at least temporarily).  Hope all is well with you and thanks for visiting (guestbook is at the bottom of the page).  Here are a few Friday funnies for you. 

Have a great day!

 

 

'The Obedient Wife'
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
'Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,
'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

 

 

~The Wal-Mart Cat~

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and

accidentally cut off the tail of her cat

which was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail over

to WALMART!

Why WALMART???

WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!

 

 

 

Happy Birthday to me

 

 

 


5.22 | Aggiungi un commento | Leggi commenti - (2) | Collegamento permanente | Pubblica su blog | hump day funnies
05 dicembre

Today's Thought

If you can't have the best of everything,
Make the best of everything you have.

 

photo taken by me Nov 2007

 

20.42 | Aggiungi un commento | Leggi commenti - (2) | Collegamento permanente | Pubblica su blog | Thought of the Day
 

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Xanthea Xha scritto:
Great place, great space! Love your humor! Have a great one,  Smile
13 Apr.
Piaha scritto:
I loved the joke about Catholic moms and their sons!
23 Apr.
Linda T.ha scritto:
What great jokes!  The one about the brain and penis---everything makes sense now!  LOL!  Drop by my site anytime.
28 Feb.
Ray Jonesha scritto:
Semper Fi 
2 Set.
Linda T.ha scritto:
A very interesting space, and a funny cowboy joke! Come visit anytime.  easygoingcountrylady
4 Giu.